Remembering
by AngelandCordy
Summary: Right after Cordy returns with no memory. Thing def go different. For instance its Cangel, and a trip to Sunnydale. Pretty funny.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I do not own Angel all characters are rightfully owned by Joss Wheadon.**

It felt like I was falling out of oblivion. Nothing but rushing white light passing me by, but that wasn't even the worst part of it all. Who was I? That's all that kept going through my mind. Who am I? All I could think about was not dying at the moment, let alone who I was. Than all of the sudden I landed softly on my feet. I open my eye's to see I'm standing in a room. Almost looked like a messed up hotel, with not great housekeeping at that. All the sudden I hear a door slam behind me, and someone calling for a Cody? I turn around to see a handsome man. All I can do is stare at the moment, completely lost and confused, not even realizing the 2 people beside him. They start saying things like your back, it's really you, and all I'm thinking it's who? I start backing up not sure if I'm safe. I feel like running and hiding somewhere anywhere, just till I can regain my memory. Than he says it again that name. Cordy? It's ok, it's me. I looked into his eyes trying to remember anything if possible, and there it was complete safeness, and unexplainable love. It felt as if something rushed over me, as if I knew as long as I was with him nothing else mattered. I wondered right then and there who he was to me? Maybe you can erase your memory, but never love. For it was thick, and I felt it has he kept moving closer to me, I couldn't move. Just standing there in complete amazement. I didn't know what to say. Who was he, better yet who am I?

He placed a hand on my shoulder, and a shiver ran through my body. He was looking into my eyes. I don't know how, but I knew him already. I already knew by the way he was looking towards me he was scared, worried, and thrilled all at once. I didn't won't to hurt him. God for some reason it would kill me to see an inch of pain on his face. So how was I supposed to say I didn't know who he was? All I could whisper out was I'm sorry. He looked at me in complete confusion. Sorry? What are you sorry for? You're here nothing else matters, as he embraced me in a hug. I hugged him back with everything in me. Knowing he still didn't comprehend what was completely going on. I buried my face in his chest, and just started crying. I recognized his scent. I wanted to remember so badly. I felt complete love in that embrace. I had a feeling this is probably where I have always felt safe in his arms. I just wish I knew where it all began. Shh it's ok Cordy, your back, I don't know why your back, but you're here that's all that matters. There it was that line. He doesn't know why I'm back? So he knew where I was. Did I leave him? Why would I ever do that? I'm obviously head over heels in love with this man. My memory can't even deny that one. I looked up at him, and smiled lightly. He gave me the biggest grin ever. I stepped back finally paying attention to the two other people in the room. They obviously cared about me, but I didn't have a clue whom they were either. He was tall, and bald, and built. She was skinny, long brown hair and glasses. They were obviously a couple. I wish I knew. I finally looked at the man I knew I loved in the eyes, and simply said. I'm sorry I don't remember anything who am I? He stepped back from me like his heart just got ripped out. I couldn't take it, that look that pain of knowing. That he might have lost me for good. I would do anything in the world to be the women he loved again, but for now all I could do was run, and that's exactly what I did.

Angel Point of View:

I didn't know what to say just then. All I could do was watch her run for the moment. If I could feel my heart it would be at the pit of my stomach. Than that's when I finally realized Fred and Gunn where still there. Man you got to go after her she doesn't have a clue what she is running into he shouted. And that's when it really hit me I was dealing with Cordelia Chase from Sunnydale High School. Not the women I grew to love. The memories she made here were what made her the wonderful women she was, but without any memories period who would she be. She was completely stripped to the core. How lost and scared she must be. Everything in me started aching for her, but then it occurred to me she must know something for she trusted me to hold her. That's when I just started running leaving Gunn and Fred behind.

Cody's POV:

I didn't know where I was running to. I didn't care at the moment. I just wanted to get away. The look on his face I couldn't bare it. And that's when I felt someone grab my arm from behind. For some reason my first reaction was to turn and fight. I figured I better go with it. I turned around and kicked them in the chest. My surprise they feel to the ground. My next reaction was to put my foot on their neck to pin them down. It was then I realized it was him. He was not trying to struggle or fight. He just looked up at me with sorrow in his eyes. I quickly let go and helped him up. I'm sorry I didn't realize I was even capable it was just my first reaction. He looked at me with reassuring eyes saying it was ok. He then gave me that smile I knew I loved and said you know I taught you that. Just than in that instant I knew it was going to be alright. Can I just go home? Wherever that may be. He looked at me with a sad look in his eyes. He said come on lets walk we have allot of talking to do. Where are we walking to? Back to the hotel that's your home for now. I was trying my best to stay right beside him. Not sure how safe my surroundings really were, but I knew I was safe with him.

Walking beside him I realized I didn't even know his name. He knew mine though. It also seemed like he knew all my secrets, fears, loves, and hates. It wasn't fair. I wanted to know it all but the weird part was I wanted to learn about him more than myself. So I decided to break the peaceful and comfortable silence. Sorry but what is your name? He looked in shock like he almost couldn't believe he hasn't said it yet. While looking down he softly said Angel. That name washed peacefulness through me. I softly said that you are. A soft smile came across his face and it made me feel warm on the inside. Where until than it was complete coldness & confusion. We must be in love correct? I don't remember anything but when I'm with you I remember and know of a love. Its thick and strong and complete safeness. He stopped walking completely almost teary eyed. It took him awhile to speak. He finally whispered the night you disappeared we were suppose to meet and talk. I thought maybe it was for you to tell me you loved me, but I was never for sure. For 3 months that's all I could think about. All I could dream about. Cordy I love you So much. I was so scared you forgot that. I put my hand on his check as he slowly moved forward. Our lips brushed softly together, and there it was. Complete happiness. Right then and there I didn't care that I was lost. I didn't care of what Might of happened to me or the complete confusion. I was madder that maybe this wasn't our first kiss and how much I have missed out on with him. When he pulled away he realized the tears forming in my eyes. Knowing already what's wrong he simply promised he would fix it all. I wanted to remember every kiss. Every hug, every conversation, and every smile he has ever given me. I wanted to remember the day I fell in love with him most. I wanted and was determined to be the women he was in love with.

We got back to the hotel and he showed me my room. I leaned in and hugged him and told him I just really needed some rest. He looked at me with complete understanding and gave me that smile of his. If you want to try to remember some stuff the box by your bed seems to be all of your personal belongings pictures etc. I smiled back at him and kissed him on the check and whispered thanks and went into the room. I couldn't help but open the box. The first thing I saw was a picture of me and Angel but I was holding a baby. Now I was really confused and hurt. We have a child and he didn't tell me?? How could I forget my on kid? How could he not mention that first? I ran down stairs. Which I now regretted. For there it was. Tall, green, horns... I slowly backed away. And then I bumped into him. I made a shriek. & he simply smiled & said don't worry names Connor.

Angel POV:

Hey Lorne. Hey sweet cakes I heard miss. Cordelia is back in our lovely presence. That's correct but she has no memory of anything I'm sure if she saw you right about now she would freak. No memory? Really? How could anyone forget this lovely green face of mine? Seriously do you have any idea how we could get her memory back? Um let's see why would the PTB take her memory? Why would they put her in heaven, and bring her back with nothing to remember? Um I'll go talk to some connections and see what's in the air. Thanks Lorne I appreciate it.

Cody's POV:

Connor? I'm guessing we never met? Oh no that's not it, word gets around fast here. Heard about the whole memory problem. I didn't know what to think of him quite yet. He seemed nice, but then again he seemed just as lost as I was. I liked that though. He also didn't seem so great about the tall green thing over there, that Angel was just having a regular conversation with. Do you want to tell me what the hell is going on around here? That's when he held out his hand and told me to come on. Let's go I'll explain everything. You will be safe I promise. I didn't quite know what to do. Part of me wanted to give Angel another chance to explain it all, and the other part wanted to go with him, so I could understand everything. I looked at his eyes, and they felt so familiar, like I use to look into them everyday not too long ago. Could he possibly be why I left Angel? There's no way though, I don't feel that kind of love for him as I do Angel. There is nothing here, but confusion. But then again I felt protective over him. What is it? All the sudden I felt someone behind me. Connor was looking passed me aggravated. I turned around to see Angel. He was close enough that I could of felt his breath on my neck, so why didn't I? Things just kept getting weirder by the moment. Angel must have seen the look in my eyes. He grabbed my hand and simply said. Don't worry, I promise I will explain it all. He looked in my eyes, and brushed my hair out of the way. All the sudden I could care less about anything again. Next thing I knew Connor walked passed us mad, and went out the door. Angel looked back at him, and I could see the hurt, and love all at once for that boy.

He simply looked at me, and asked if we could go to the garden to talk. No matter how tired I was I needed, and wanted to know what was going on. We went and sat down on a bench, and he grabbed my hand and pulled it close to him. He looked at me, and made me promise I wouldn't run, or think of him to be crazy. I looked in his eyes for a moment and knew none of that could be possible. I simply nodded in agreement. He started telling me everything, from when he first met me till today. All I could do was listen, and try to comprehend it all. I had to keep looking in his eyes to remind myself how it all must be true. It all made sense now. Connor, the others in the hotel, my love for him. I wanted to remember for myself though more than anything. He promised he had Lorne searching for answers now. I realized that the sun was about to rise, and remember what he told me. I looked at him and said I guess we need to be getting you in than huh? Don't want to be sweeping up anything later. It was just then I realized I must say everything that comes to my mind. He just looked at me and smiled though. I simply said I hope when I get my memory back I can learn how to control that better. Oh trust me you do.

I went back to my room, while trying to comprehend it all. I was so confused, and in disbelief. Could I really be in love with a vampire? Could I really have believed everything he just told me? Nothing made any sense. Then again it didn't make any sense how I just fail out of oblivion landed in a hotel, with no memory of who I was. So how could I really question anything at the moment. I went back to the box, and I started thinking how is it that everything that meant anything to me be defined into one small box. I must have been one shallow person back in the day, and just now started keeping up with things better. That's when I found the year book. From what I can tell I must have been very popular and rich. Which explains the shallow part quite well and why was my year book burnt? That's when I read what people signed on the back. Huge snake? Bombed the school? My life was far from normal. Then I remembered what Angel told me about visions, and someone named Doyle? How I somehow was part demon myself. None of this made sense to me. I wanted to know more, I wanted to understand it all. I went across the hall and knocked on his door. He shouted to come in, and there he was just sitting in his chair reading a book. He looked so peaceful. What's wrong? Oh um nothing. I really have a favor to ask of you. Sure anything. I want to go back to Sunnydale. What? The look on his face made it seem like he hated that place, and then I remembered what he told me about Buffy. All the sudden I felt jealousy. I just think it would really help me with remembering. It seems the more I'm around things I use to know the more I remember. For instance with you the more time I spend with you the better I seem to be. He looked up with confusion in his eyes. Then he simply said anything to make things better for you. We will leave out tonight. Now go get some rest ok. I simply smiled back at him. Then went to go get some sleep.

Angel POV:

I was trying to figure out how to call Buffy, and let her know I would be heading that way tonight, with Cordelia. I never thought I would be put into this situation. I knew what Buffy was facing in Sunnydale with the first and all. How can I possibly ask for any favors at the moments? She was so busy. I also knew I loved and cared about Cordy deeply and would do anything to help her. So I picked up the phone. Ring...Ring...Ring… Hello. Hey Buffy? Yeah, Angel? She sounded surprised and happy all at once. Yeah hey, sorry to be calling I know how crazy things are at the moment, but I need a favor. Sure anything, what's up? I knew that happy tone in her voice was about to change. I'm heading that way tonight with Cordelia, and I was wondering if we could stay at your place. See she was a higher being there for awhile, and well they brought her back with no memory. She is completely lost, and confused, and she thinks it might help if she can revisit old friends and familiar places. I could tell I was just a rambling, and Buffy was just as quite as she could be on the other end. Higher Being? Cordelia Chase? Old friends? Angel, we never were really friends more like two people stuck at the same school just trying to survive. I know look she isn't the same person as she use to be, and she doesn't remember at all how she treated anyone back then. I will do anything it takes to help her remember, please Buffy? Wow you must really care for her. I love her. There it was dead silence. I couldn't even here the sound of her breathing. Buffy, you still there? Um yeah sorry, but I thought I just heard that you were in love with Cordelia Chase?!? Yeah just like I hear you're in love with Spike. People change, things happen. Yeah of course you can stay. I must warn you though things are crazy here. I can't even keep up with how many people I have staying at the house right now. So bring some sleeping bags. Thanks Buffy, I really appreciate it! Uh huh... bye. Talking about a conversation I thought I never have. Now it was time to get some rest before the drive tonight.

Cordys POV:

I've been lying awake for awhile now. Just staring at the roof. The sun was setting, and all I could think about was leaving. I got up to get dressed and headed down stairs. Fred was there; at least I think that's who it was. Fred? Cordy hey! How are you feeling? Still the same just ready to leave. Leave? She looked worried, and concerned. Like she was wondering how fast she could get to Angel before I would run out the door. I forgot that Angel must not have had time to tell anyone about our plans for tonight. Yeah, Angel and I are headed to Sunnydale tonight, to see if I can remember anything better. I saw a relief wash over her. Oh ok. She seemed so stressed out. I couldn't help but to ask what was wrong, and that's when she lost it. I'm so sorry. It's just ever since you left I've been trying my best to hold this place together. I never realized how much you did around here Cordy. I've missed you so much. I could definitely tell she was from Texas then. I wonder if every time she got upset her accent came out that strong. I'm sorry Fred. I'm not sure what to say, considering I don't remember anything. I wouldn't have a clue what it's like to keep things together around here at the moment, but from what I can tell things look good. Other than well papers being everywhere, and maybe needing some dusting. All I could do was smile at her, while thinking I really need to work on actually caring about people's feelings again. I'm sorry Fred. I hear I use to be really blunt and just said whatever came to mind. Not caring who I hurt in the process. I'm really trying hard to control that again. Hopefully I'll be back in no time. She gave me a weak smile, but with understanding eyes. She simply said hey well I never got to see this part of you anyways, so I'm learning something new. Thanks Fred.

All the sudden the door slams and Gunn walks in. Hey look who's up and about. Hey Gunn! Good ole Cordy. How are things going? Alright, have you seen Angel? Yeah I just helped him finished loading up the car. I hear there's a road trip coming up? Yeah going to Sunnydale. Sunnydale, hmm I rather go to Vegas any day. Fred slaps his arm playfully and said you and Vegas. I simply smiled at them, and walked outside to see if Angel needed any help. He was closing the trunk, and looked up. Are you ready to go? Yeah just let me go grab my things. Already got them, as he gave me that smile. I won't even ask how. He opened the car door for me and we were on our way.

"Sunny dale here they come… I will start writing again as soon as I get the chance. Working both jobs tomorrow but I'm sure I will have something posted around 930 tomorrow night. Thanks and review please!"


	2. Chapter 2

**Due to lost of interest and having no reviewers I am handing this story over to Singer981.**


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